Drive yourself away from me
as fast as you can
I'm not worth the fight
I might just hurt you
And force you to go.
I'm a chaos. I'm a mess. I'm torn.
And right now
I might just harm you
Please go.
I don't wanna end up hurting anybody.
Showing posts with label sentimentil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sentimentil. Show all posts
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
devastating
I stumbled my feet, refusing to leave this very place
I wanted to stay, right here, in this strange place
Odd enough, I can't let you see me fall
For wanting you not to leave me
Please stay, Please stay, my heart screamed
You may leave, I'll be fine, my lips finally said.
This is not home, this place is not where I wanted to be, This doesn't define me
But I'm not going to jump on that bus, my feet is staying where it's standing
I waved and smiled, saying to myself I'd be fine, after all I am miss independent
No, no, please don't leave me behind, I don't want to be alone
Because noticing there's nothing awaits me when I got back to my place
Is just plain devastating
And I'm devastated. I broke.
I don't want to go. I don't want you to go.
---
TiQi Bo
I wanted to stay, right here, in this strange place
Odd enough, I can't let you see me fall
For wanting you not to leave me
Please stay, Please stay, my heart screamed
You may leave, I'll be fine, my lips finally said.
This is not home, this place is not where I wanted to be, This doesn't define me
But I'm not going to jump on that bus, my feet is staying where it's standing
I waved and smiled, saying to myself I'd be fine, after all I am miss independent
No, no, please don't leave me behind, I don't want to be alone
Because noticing there's nothing awaits me when I got back to my place
Is just plain devastating
And I'm devastated. I broke.
I don't want to go. I don't want you to go.
---
TiQi Bo
Sunday, April 18, 2010
life.period.
I flew back to my parents hometown this weekend. The weekend that me and mas Dhanar has planned for so long to make it a date with mbak Anggun. After planning for so long, it was decided, that I'll have a date with mas Dhanar on Saturday and mbak Anggun would join us on Sunday.
There are a lot of things way beyond human measurements. And last week, I don't even know how God works. Because me, Icong, and Andun finally had our date. The date wasn't what we even expect in our wildest dreams, but it did happen.
I was gathering my scattered souls in saturday morning, when mbak Anggun gave me a call. The call was only 'Dek, nyokap gue jatoh...' and she was crying when she called me. I said that I'll be there ASAP. I had my silent moment and called mas Dhanar. Off we went to mbak Anggun's place.
As we stroll in, mbak Anggun's mum was already gone.
I don't like death. Not for the fact that it is certain for every one, I just don't like the fact that no one could tell how was it like. One thing I know, human being could cheat for almost everything, but they could never cheat death.
Budhe Wiek, saya memanggilnya.
Anak ketiga dari kakek dan nenek saya.
Saudara ibu saya yang paling santai sedunia.
Budhe saya yang mengajak saya ke Ragunan, pertama kalinya dalam hidup saya.
Kata Ibu saya, si Budhe banyak akal.
Tak mau dia meminum obat2annya, yang kemudian diminumkan kepada Ibu saya
Diberi hanya punggung oleh nenek saya, karena selalu ada yang lebih kecil yang meminta pelukan
Budhe saya, yang tak pernah alpa membawa burung belibis ketika berkunjung ke Solo
Yang pada lebaran tahun ini berlari mengejar foto keluarga besar
'Saya harus ikut berfoto', katanya
Saya pikir, si Budhe akan selamanya ada.
Akan selalu menggerutu ketika anaknya saya culik untuk balik tengah malam
Akan selalu meminta dielus2 kakinya
Akan selalu menawari saya untuk sarapan ketika saya berkunjung
Akan selalu berusaha melarang saya memakan mie instan
Akan selalu protes ketika saya membawa minuman berwarna
Saya angkuh.
Karena tepat hari ini, 17 April 2010, dicukupkanlah waktunya di dunia.
Berhentilah semua kegiatannya di sekitar saya.
Kembali pada rengkuhan bumi.
Saya tak sempat mengucap maaf. Atas semua ucap dan pikir saya.
Saya tak sempat berpamitan.
Budhe, you really do look beutiful and peaceful yesterday.
I'll let you go for heaven's door is waiting.
---
Tikki Mahayanti
RIP: Sartanti (1952 - 17 April 2010)
There are a lot of things way beyond human measurements. And last week, I don't even know how God works. Because me, Icong, and Andun finally had our date. The date wasn't what we even expect in our wildest dreams, but it did happen.
I was gathering my scattered souls in saturday morning, when mbak Anggun gave me a call. The call was only 'Dek, nyokap gue jatoh...' and she was crying when she called me. I said that I'll be there ASAP. I had my silent moment and called mas Dhanar. Off we went to mbak Anggun's place.
As we stroll in, mbak Anggun's mum was already gone.
I don't like death. Not for the fact that it is certain for every one, I just don't like the fact that no one could tell how was it like. One thing I know, human being could cheat for almost everything, but they could never cheat death.
Budhe Wiek, saya memanggilnya.
Anak ketiga dari kakek dan nenek saya.
Saudara ibu saya yang paling santai sedunia.
Budhe saya yang mengajak saya ke Ragunan, pertama kalinya dalam hidup saya.
Kata Ibu saya, si Budhe banyak akal.
Tak mau dia meminum obat2annya, yang kemudian diminumkan kepada Ibu saya
Diberi hanya punggung oleh nenek saya, karena selalu ada yang lebih kecil yang meminta pelukan
Budhe saya, yang tak pernah alpa membawa burung belibis ketika berkunjung ke Solo
Yang pada lebaran tahun ini berlari mengejar foto keluarga besar
'Saya harus ikut berfoto', katanya
Saya pikir, si Budhe akan selamanya ada.
Akan selalu menggerutu ketika anaknya saya culik untuk balik tengah malam
Akan selalu meminta dielus2 kakinya
Akan selalu menawari saya untuk sarapan ketika saya berkunjung
Akan selalu berusaha melarang saya memakan mie instan
Akan selalu protes ketika saya membawa minuman berwarna
Saya angkuh.
Karena tepat hari ini, 17 April 2010, dicukupkanlah waktunya di dunia.
Berhentilah semua kegiatannya di sekitar saya.
Kembali pada rengkuhan bumi.
Saya tak sempat mengucap maaf. Atas semua ucap dan pikir saya.
Saya tak sempat berpamitan.
Budhe, you really do look beutiful and peaceful yesterday.
I'll let you go for heaven's door is waiting.
---
Tikki Mahayanti
RIP: Sartanti (1952 - 17 April 2010)
Friday, April 9, 2010
Holding on
Don't turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid
But keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard
For the Belle of the Boulevard
-Belle of the boulevard, Dashboard confessional-
For now? I like this song so much... Too bad I can't sing it out loud in the office. Not that I became dumb in the office, it's just that my office is kinda a normal office *ya, menurut lu, Boooo?*, where I wasn't suppose to wear my earphone and do headbanging on my own chair... But well, I did that... :p
I don't do facebook so much nowadays. But I still open it regularly every single day, just to read messages I receive from Balz. Balemoterz... My early college friends. 7 girls. Sometimes it's too much for me, to listen them talking. But I missed them, so bad. Hmm, let's see... Ulit is now a mother of two gorgeous sons (Ali and Adin, be good to Mummy ok, she has left many unspoken and spoken dreams to have you guys), Eiy the popodanes architect in Bali, Dedeq the Bensley overtime architect in Bali, Puta the *lost* government officer, Bie and Yuyu the on the track architects. Each of them has their own problems to deal and that message was a place where we all could say the problems out loud. You see, we girls, don't need any feed back, we just need to make sure everybody's listening and gave us the support.
From the message, I can see *and eventually read* that they are planning to settle down with their life and guys, well except for Ulit(and me.. :p). Time does flies, don't they? Five years ago, girls... I still laugh when I remembered the good old days. The inside jokes, the intrigues, the life we lived.
I mean, who would've thought, Ulit is very capable of raising two boys?! TWO BOYS, OEL!!!! And still on her way to earn her master degree. Made me hold up my tears today when I almost broke down when my boss gave away the seminar tickets to the other staff. Yes, I'm in my sentimentil agogo mode today. Well be it, if it's meant to be, it'll always return to me. Right now, I am just sending my prayers to my boss, may he retire soon :p.
Dedeq, apart from her childish look, she is one hell of a woman. Trying to face the world for a guy. Hey, for me, religions are private matter. But for the common people, it's like the first thing to see from a guy (bibit, bebet, bobot, eh... yang penting, dia solat jumat kan? *krikrikrik*).
Eiy is always the tough girl. Staying put in Bali for Yayak. whoaaa, I'm not sure I could do that. She sid she loves the guy, and I believed that.
Yuyu is building her own clothing shop. While she still works as an architect. Made me believe, I haven't tried hard enough. Because if I tried so hard, there's no such thing as impossible.
Bie, the kerupuk lover. She has always been the mature one. She stayed on track on what she wanted. Nice thingy, huh?
Puta is a government officer now. But she's thinking of stepping out from these bureaucrazy thingy. We're right beside you, to hold you. :)
I once again count my blessings. It's countless, if you ask me. Even though my life may seem like a total mess with me being in the center, I like to see it as order in chaos. So here I am, drying up my tears, stretching another smile. I know You're never there, God... Because you're always here, with me. :)
---
TiQi Bo
Kamu tau nggak Balemot itu apa? Balemot itu kelinci, tapi kupingnya tujuuuuh, matanya tujuuuuuh, kakinya tujuuuuh. Aku juga nggak yakin itu namanya apa, tapi aku kasih nama dia Balemot. :))
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid
But keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard
For the Belle of the Boulevard
-Belle of the boulevard, Dashboard confessional-
For now? I like this song so much... Too bad I can't sing it out loud in the office. Not that I became dumb in the office, it's just that my office is kinda a normal office *ya, menurut lu, Boooo?*, where I wasn't suppose to wear my earphone and do headbanging on my own chair... But well, I did that... :p
I don't do facebook so much nowadays. But I still open it regularly every single day, just to read messages I receive from Balz. Balemoterz... My early college friends. 7 girls. Sometimes it's too much for me, to listen them talking. But I missed them, so bad. Hmm, let's see... Ulit is now a mother of two gorgeous sons (Ali and Adin, be good to Mummy ok, she has left many unspoken and spoken dreams to have you guys), Eiy the popodanes architect in Bali, Dedeq the Bensley overtime architect in Bali, Puta the *lost* government officer, Bie and Yuyu the on the track architects. Each of them has their own problems to deal and that message was a place where we all could say the problems out loud. You see, we girls, don't need any feed back, we just need to make sure everybody's listening and gave us the support.
From the message, I can see *and eventually read* that they are planning to settle down with their life and guys, well except for Ulit(and me.. :p). Time does flies, don't they? Five years ago, girls... I still laugh when I remembered the good old days. The inside jokes, the intrigues, the life we lived.
I mean, who would've thought, Ulit is very capable of raising two boys?! TWO BOYS, OEL!!!! And still on her way to earn her master degree. Made me hold up my tears today when I almost broke down when my boss gave away the seminar tickets to the other staff. Yes, I'm in my sentimentil agogo mode today. Well be it, if it's meant to be, it'll always return to me. Right now, I am just sending my prayers to my boss, may he retire soon :p.
Dedeq, apart from her childish look, she is one hell of a woman. Trying to face the world for a guy. Hey, for me, religions are private matter. But for the common people, it's like the first thing to see from a guy (bibit, bebet, bobot, eh... yang penting, dia solat jumat kan? *krikrikrik*).
Eiy is always the tough girl. Staying put in Bali for Yayak. whoaaa, I'm not sure I could do that. She sid she loves the guy, and I believed that.
Yuyu is building her own clothing shop. While she still works as an architect. Made me believe, I haven't tried hard enough. Because if I tried so hard, there's no such thing as impossible.
Bie, the kerupuk lover. She has always been the mature one. She stayed on track on what she wanted. Nice thingy, huh?
Puta is a government officer now. But she's thinking of stepping out from these bureaucrazy thingy. We're right beside you, to hold you. :)
I once again count my blessings. It's countless, if you ask me. Even though my life may seem like a total mess with me being in the center, I like to see it as order in chaos. So here I am, drying up my tears, stretching another smile. I know You're never there, God... Because you're always here, with me. :)
---
TiQi Bo
Kamu tau nggak Balemot itu apa? Balemot itu kelinci, tapi kupingnya tujuuuuh, matanya tujuuuuuh, kakinya tujuuuuh. Aku juga nggak yakin itu namanya apa, tapi aku kasih nama dia Balemot. :))
Monday, April 5, 2010
catching up
Life...
it's not a period until you're dead.
I've been down for quite some time. Well yeah, I still stretch a smile on my face and laugh at my misfortunate events in my life, but I've been feeling awfully wrong all these times. I don't know what's wrong, it just doesn't seem right.
So I finally break down in tears, to the only person I allow to see me in my full emotion, a person who have seen my ups and downs, a person who's been there all along watching me making my own mistakes, a person I call 'mum'.
I kept my secrets from her most of the times now, saying everything's fine, and life has been grand for me. But last weekend, I cracked a bit of my secrets. And she was there to hold me, to give me the comfort I need.
She told me, that I always been a stubborn-straight-to-the-point child ever since I was born, and I inherit that from my Dad. Hey, at least I inherit something from my Dad! :) She said, I'm still young, and changing the world, is still beyond my reach. But still, I wanted to change the world, make them see things from my point of view. Something that is not mainstream.
Yeah, I breakdown to her about my job. It's not that I don't like my job. I'm starting to take the fact that I will be tied here at least for 20 years. That's not it. I just don't like how they do the job. I take my jobs seriously, in my own way.
She offered me again to move to her office. As I recall, this is the 3rd time she said the thing seriously to me. And I'm beginning to consider about it. But no, I know a person in the office whose father work at my mum's office, and he dragged his son to his office. I mean, enough, this circle of oh-i-think-i-know-you-and-your-parents-as-well has to stop. Am not moving to my mum's or dad's office. No. I'll stay here, until I've had enough.
I did some catch up with Munyun as well. The one friend Mummy think has it all. As she talk, I wander. Look at this girl, she has the brain, the face, and a perfect family. But still, she's a brainless, faceless, and careless about her family when it comes to guys. Everyone has things to complain about.
So, yeah, shit happens. For me? It;s the person I work for. And I just hope I don't give up quite soon.
If you can't change the world, then change yourself to suit the world.
Me, I'll be the outcast, and I will change the world.
---
TiQi Bo
it's not a period until you're dead.
I've been down for quite some time. Well yeah, I still stretch a smile on my face and laugh at my misfortunate events in my life, but I've been feeling awfully wrong all these times. I don't know what's wrong, it just doesn't seem right.
So I finally break down in tears, to the only person I allow to see me in my full emotion, a person who have seen my ups and downs, a person who's been there all along watching me making my own mistakes, a person I call 'mum'.
I kept my secrets from her most of the times now, saying everything's fine, and life has been grand for me. But last weekend, I cracked a bit of my secrets. And she was there to hold me, to give me the comfort I need.
She told me, that I always been a stubborn-straight-to-the-point child ever since I was born, and I inherit that from my Dad. Hey, at least I inherit something from my Dad! :) She said, I'm still young, and changing the world, is still beyond my reach. But still, I wanted to change the world, make them see things from my point of view. Something that is not mainstream.
Yeah, I breakdown to her about my job. It's not that I don't like my job. I'm starting to take the fact that I will be tied here at least for 20 years. That's not it. I just don't like how they do the job. I take my jobs seriously, in my own way.
She offered me again to move to her office. As I recall, this is the 3rd time she said the thing seriously to me. And I'm beginning to consider about it. But no, I know a person in the office whose father work at my mum's office, and he dragged his son to his office. I mean, enough, this circle of oh-i-think-i-know-you-and-your-parents-as-well has to stop. Am not moving to my mum's or dad's office. No. I'll stay here, until I've had enough.
I did some catch up with Munyun as well. The one friend Mummy think has it all. As she talk, I wander. Look at this girl, she has the brain, the face, and a perfect family. But still, she's a brainless, faceless, and careless about her family when it comes to guys. Everyone has things to complain about.
So, yeah, shit happens. For me? It;s the person I work for. And I just hope I don't give up quite soon.
If you can't change the world, then change yourself to suit the world.
Me, I'll be the outcast, and I will change the world.
---
TiQi Bo
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I'm not good at words
Let me just be there
To look at you clearly
To smile at you dearly
Tell me about your dreams
Tell me about your life
Tell me about you
In return
I'd let you know how I react to your stories
I'd let you be the first to know
I won't tell you about my life in return
But if you hang long enough and be patient
I'm sure, I won't have to tell you about it
Of how I enjoyed my life
Of the things that made me laugh
Of the state that only I could understand
So let me just be there
And hopefully you'd hang on long enough here beside me
To know it all
:)
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Here I am again
I thought that I would be fine stepping my sneakers back on this island again.
After all, A year has passed me by.
But when the airplane touched the runway last night.
There's something inside of me screaming, waiting to be unleashed.
And there I was, having my silent moment along the way to my hotel.
The same road I travel a dozen times year ago.
Brings me up the memory, of how I first came to this place and left it in hurry.
There are regrets in me. I should've wait for another year, I should've failed at the test, I should've NOT even try the test.
But that was my options back then, not now.
Yet here I am, staring at the same beach again...
With a different kind of view
And the same old feeling
I should've finished what I've started here before I left
I should've say goodbye in a proper way
I should've given a better answer to this place and those people
Let me scream it out, Sanur.
Or let me just enjoy you in my silent moment.
For I have left a part of my dream here
I love you in a way that I couldn't describe, Sanur... I really do.
---
Tikki Mahayanti
After all, A year has passed me by.
But when the airplane touched the runway last night.
There's something inside of me screaming, waiting to be unleashed.
And there I was, having my silent moment along the way to my hotel.
The same road I travel a dozen times year ago.
Brings me up the memory, of how I first came to this place and left it in hurry.
There are regrets in me. I should've wait for another year, I should've failed at the test, I should've NOT even try the test.
But that was my options back then, not now.
Yet here I am, staring at the same beach again...
With a different kind of view
And the same old feeling
I should've finished what I've started here before I left
I should've say goodbye in a proper way
I should've given a better answer to this place and those people
Let me scream it out, Sanur.
Or let me just enjoy you in my silent moment.
For I have left a part of my dream here
I love you in a way that I couldn't describe, Sanur... I really do.
---
Tikki Mahayanti
Monday, December 7, 2009
Who would've thought
These pictures were taken before they decided to take their vows. It was just about a year ago. They were just two of my (few remembered) friends I got in high school. And the three of us were just hanging out at a restaurant, checking on our daily lifes.
And last weekend, 5 December 2009, they held their wedding. I was so excited about being in their wedding, I forgot how flat my ass was, siting in my seat for 10 hours just to go to Solo and spent another 10 hours to get back to Jakarta. I couldn't help myself of stretching a smile on my face every single time I memorized something about them. I love you both! >:D<
They were my classmates in my first grade of high school. As a nerd and a transfer student (well, actually not a transfer student, but yeah... I'm an alien there :p), I don't know a lot of people. The girl was someone I hang out once a while, and the guy was someone I tease in class.
The girl told me about how her love life was, and how her family has always said no to every boyfriend she introduced. All the tears she cried every time she broke up. And how I forgot her boyfriend's name... (forgive me, Mip!) I guess, she just haven't 'met' the guy yet.
I remembered, the last time we hang out before they decide to become a couple, the guy said that marriage haven't crossed his mind yet. He was too young. He was still pursuing for his career. He haven't 'met' the girl yet.
And last weekend, they were sitting in front of me, holding on to each other, as husband and wife. I hope the look in their eyes when they saw each other that day, lasts forever.
*hughug*
*still smiling ear-to-ear*
---
TiQi Bo
owh, and Mummy... they are BOTH my friend... I've tried to explain this to you since three moths ago... ow well..
ah, one thingy about their wedding souvenir... They gave us knife... am not sure what was it suppose to mean, but my Mum and Pap consider the souvenir as useful... Well, if you guys asked me, I thought after the wedding party, there were suppose to be a massacre... until the last drop of blood! but well, it was just me... :p
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I'm here... I just don't want to be found...
What's the point of feeling lonely? So that you could know how blessed you are having persons in your life... *berasa nyanyi show me the meaning of being lonelynya BSB,,, hedeh... jadul bets... =p*
I'm a loner, Always were and always will...
I disappear before your eyes, and suddenly you can't find me anywhere...
It's not that I am gone, I am always here, I just don't want to be found.
You don't need an effort to push me away
I know it's my time to retreat and step down from my place
I may be hurt, I my felt sorry
But I think you have the right to know who I really am
I am not hiding a stretch of a smile on my face
I will not hide the facts that I enjoyed things that not everybody enjoyed
I will not runaway from the truth
I'm always here, leaving a spot for you by my side, preparing my ears to listen to your stories
If you can't find me anywhere, believe me, I don't want to be found
You just need to sit on your spot tell your stories
Because I am still here, I just don't want to be found
---
TiQi Bo
I'm a loner, Always were and always will...I disappear before your eyes, and suddenly you can't find me anywhere...
It's not that I am gone, I am always here, I just don't want to be found.
You don't need an effort to push me away
I know it's my time to retreat and step down from my place
I may be hurt, I my felt sorry
But I think you have the right to know who I really am
I am not hiding a stretch of a smile on my face
I will not hide the facts that I enjoyed things that not everybody enjoyed
I will not runaway from the truth
I'm always here, leaving a spot for you by my side, preparing my ears to listen to your stories
If you can't find me anywhere, believe me, I don't want to be found
You just need to sit on your spot tell your stories
Because I am still here, I just don't want to be found
---
TiQi Bo
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Munyun
Right now. Yes, right now, at office hours, with piles of papers I'm trying so hard to understand, The thing that I really want to do is having a talk with Munyun.
I want her to slap me in my face and tell me to wake up and face the harsh life.
I want her to just listen to me babble about things that happened in my life
I want me to patiently listen to her when it's her turn to talk.
I guess, talking to her was the thing I missed the most from my Bandung part of life.
Munyuuuuuuun... I promise I wont lost my keys anymore, or get us lost in some parts of Bandung, or go through the wrong way in traffic, or anything else...
Just needed someone to talk to here, mate...
---
TiQi Bo
I want her to slap me in my face and tell me to wake up and face the harsh life.
I want her to just listen to me babble about things that happened in my life
I want me to patiently listen to her when it's her turn to talk.
I guess, talking to her was the thing I missed the most from my Bandung part of life.
Munyuuuuuuun... I promise I wont lost my keys anymore, or get us lost in some parts of Bandung, or go through the wrong way in traffic, or anything else...
Just needed someone to talk to here, mate...
---
TiQi Bo
Friday, September 18, 2009
There's a reason we call it past
She's beautiful, Bo... I can't compete with that...
What's the point of being beautiful if you can't see through yourself, mate?
He saw you, he chose you.
She's beautiful, Bo... Everybody that I knew said so...
What's the point of seeing anybody else beautiful if you were saying it cynical, mate?
He believes in you, he feels comfortable with you.
She's beautiful, Bo... She's the reason I cried last night...
What's the point of having this conversation if you can't think clearly, mate?
He cares about you, he loves you.
I can't be judgmental, mate. I can't take sides. I can't choose for you.
For all I know, that she is his past. history. period.
And you, are his present.
And hopefully his future.
The problem is, are you willing to let the past be and be there in his future?
---
TiQi Bo
I'll be looking forward to Dec 6 2009, mate. Whatever happens, all I see is Dec 6 2009.
ll the bitch talking, swearing, and dirty jobs? leave them to me... I'm the devilish one. You can't take my role. As I can't take your role as the immaculate one. =p
Anyway, I'll be heading home today! yay! King, pick me up at the airport!
.I.need.to.sleep.
What's the point of being beautiful if you can't see through yourself, mate?
He saw you, he chose you.
She's beautiful, Bo... Everybody that I knew said so...
What's the point of seeing anybody else beautiful if you were saying it cynical, mate?
He believes in you, he feels comfortable with you.
She's beautiful, Bo... She's the reason I cried last night...
What's the point of having this conversation if you can't think clearly, mate?
He cares about you, he loves you.
I can't be judgmental, mate. I can't take sides. I can't choose for you.
For all I know, that she is his past. history. period.
And you, are his present.
And hopefully his future.
The problem is, are you willing to let the past be and be there in his future?
---
TiQi Bo
I'll be looking forward to Dec 6 2009, mate. Whatever happens, all I see is Dec 6 2009.
ll the bitch talking, swearing, and dirty jobs? leave them to me... I'm the devilish one. You can't take my role. As I can't take your role as the immaculate one. =p
Anyway, I'll be heading home today! yay! King, pick me up at the airport!
.I.need.to.sleep.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I've changed...
I met my long forgotten friends in the world wide web,,, *halah*
Seeing their pictures, just brings out who I used to be...
The little girl that was been chased by my neighbor's dog, go fishing in the city sanitary, ate kinds of fruits in my neighbor's yard *nyolong mode: ON*, played ping pong in my neighbor's place, say my prayers in a room with a painting of last supper in *like I even cared... we prayed in many different ways, and I just basically don't care*...
Me and my childhood phase. The phase which was long forgotten.
My friends recall me as the biggest girl in the class *and when I say BIGGEST, that means FAT and well, literally BIG, haha* and the most tomboy girl they have known. Well, I can't describe myself better than that... hehe...
Seeing their pictures reminds me of how much we all have grown. I barely recognize most of them *not to mention that I really have an awful memory*. They're not the children that I knew. The children that used to play with me. The children that kept loads of my stupidity.
I'm not saying that I have changed radically since the last time I met my childhood friends. Well, I'm still chubby *Ok, smell of denial is in the air, haha*, still dark skinned, still doing stupid things. Still tomboy...
I am me, as far as I know.
But yet, I can't deny, I've changed. might be a slight change, but I've change...
Oh we've got a long, long way to go
To get there
We'll get there
But oh, if there's one thing that we know
It's that we will not grow old
Oh how could we know that day, it came with age
That oh, the feeling would fade...
(We will not Grow old - LENKA)
---
TiQi Bo
Sometimes I heard the waves of seas are calling my name, and when I listen to it carefully I know, I just missed the place.
Seeing their pictures, just brings out who I used to be...
The little girl that was been chased by my neighbor's dog, go fishing in the city sanitary, ate kinds of fruits in my neighbor's yard *nyolong mode: ON*, played ping pong in my neighbor's place, say my prayers in a room with a painting of last supper in *like I even cared... we prayed in many different ways, and I just basically don't care*...
Me and my childhood phase. The phase which was long forgotten.
My friends recall me as the biggest girl in the class *and when I say BIGGEST, that means FAT and well, literally BIG, haha* and the most tomboy girl they have known. Well, I can't describe myself better than that... hehe...
Seeing their pictures reminds me of how much we all have grown. I barely recognize most of them *not to mention that I really have an awful memory*. They're not the children that I knew. The children that used to play with me. The children that kept loads of my stupidity.
I'm not saying that I have changed radically since the last time I met my childhood friends. Well, I'm still chubby *Ok, smell of denial is in the air, haha*, still dark skinned, still doing stupid things. Still tomboy...
I am me, as far as I know.
But yet, I can't deny, I've changed. might be a slight change, but I've change...
Oh we've got a long, long way to go
To get there
We'll get there
But oh, if there's one thing that we know
It's that we will not grow old
Oh how could we know that day, it came with age
That oh, the feeling would fade...
(We will not Grow old - LENKA)
---
TiQi Bo
Sometimes I heard the waves of seas are calling my name, and when I listen to it carefully I know, I just missed the place.
Friday, May 1, 2009
And for God's sake, how do I suppose to know?
I am not good at remembering things in order, you guys should remind me that constantly.
Oh, first things first... Welcome, SyuMe... Jakarta have been waiting for you for more than 4 years, mate... I don't have any clue why did you chose Jakarta as a place to come home to, but I honoured your option. MeDz, bahtera lu emang ga bisa selamanya berjangkar di elu, tapi masih ada kapal ke Padang kok... *ah, ga nyambung, sudahlah...*
I had a facebook chat today with my 'Ibu'... *Geez, I had a lot of parents... >.< I guess that explains why I still remain as a kid...*. She complained about my facebook profile picture.. She said that she wanted to see my 'wajah manis'.. ahyahyahyaaaa... *blushed... sambil mlungker2in rok...* So, as a sweet little girl, I obeyed her... Voila! Now you can see my 'wajah manis...' *awawawwww, tersipu2 lagih...*. I did thank her for the *honest* compliments... She said, 'Kalo bukan Ibunya yang ngalem, sapa lagi kan, Tik?'... Ahahahaha, ah, Ibuuuu, aku maluuuuuuw... *OK, now would be the perfect time for you guys to just ignore my post, hyahahaha*
Anyway, if you guys are wondering, who is this Ibu... her name is Medy Krisnany... ring a bell? Yup... my professor in Architecture... *hyaaaa, malu lagiii, garuk2 tanah...*. She was my Ibu in college years. Her room was frozen cold *litterally, mates... occasionally, I spotted ice cubes fell down from her AC,,, gosh...*, but it was comfortable in atmosphere.
Now, that was my Ibu... There are two Ibu's for me,,, Ibu Agnes Pujiyati will be the second... Whe is just an ordinary woman from dusun engh... I forgot the name of the dusun... *anak macam apa gw... durhakaaaa...*. She was my Ibu during my KKN time for 2 months. She was the witness of Arya's gombalisme... *Arya, kalo lu baca blog gw... suatu waktu, boleh deh kita ngitung bintang, heuheuheu... ih, Arya gombaaaaaaal... ahyahahahaha*.. Ugh, I missed my Ibus... Ibuuuuuuuuu... both of them are in Yogya... Someday, Ibu... I will make you proud when I stand before your eyes.
And, there always be Mamak... *gw kangen elu, Mamaaaaaakkkk*... She was a 'senior' architect in Gfab. She always criticized my ability of drafting in CAD, once when I was a CAD monkey... But of course, she did it because she cared for me...
Moving on to Mami... the first Mami would be Mami Merry *along with Papi,,, I also forgot his name...* Mami Merry was the owner of a house across to my parents house in Ambon. She also owned a dog named Chiko... *Yang udah pernah dikejar Chiko, ngacuuuuuung... yakin de, tu Anjing galak banget...* She was the one concerned about my math grades *ya eyalaaaah, guru matematika, gituh?*. I first saw the 'perjamuan terakhir' painting in her house too... She taught me how to play ping pong and play 'ibu kita kartini' on keyboard... I hope she is doing alright,,, haven't heard from her since the riot...
The second Mami is Mami Lee... An architect from Gfab. She was the one that allowed me to touch her head... I did it because I cared. I know, some people might think it's rather impolite to touch someone older's head, but I don't know... I just did that... And I did that for ones that I care... =D *hayooo, sapa yang pernah gw *pukpuk* kepalanyaaaaa?*
Ah, I missed all my Ibu, Mamak, Mami, Mum,,,
All of them... Allllll offff theeeeeemmmm...
---
TiQi Bo
Being selfish, hyahahaha... Anyway, I only have one father... anybody volunteered for the place? No? no one wants to compete with my Pap? very well...
Oh, first things first... Welcome, SyuMe... Jakarta have been waiting for you for more than 4 years, mate... I don't have any clue why did you chose Jakarta as a place to come home to, but I honoured your option. MeDz, bahtera lu emang ga bisa selamanya berjangkar di elu, tapi masih ada kapal ke Padang kok... *ah, ga nyambung, sudahlah...*
I had a facebook chat today with my 'Ibu'... *Geez, I had a lot of parents... >.< I guess that explains why I still remain as a kid...*. She complained about my facebook profile picture.. She said that she wanted to see my 'wajah manis'.. ahyahyahyaaaa... *blushed... sambil mlungker2in rok...* So, as a sweet little girl, I obeyed her... Voila! Now you can see my 'wajah manis...' *awawawwww, tersipu2 lagih...*. I did thank her for the *honest* compliments... She said, 'Kalo bukan Ibunya yang ngalem, sapa lagi kan, Tik?'... Ahahahaha, ah, Ibuuuu, aku maluuuuuuw... *OK, now would be the perfect time for you guys to just ignore my post, hyahahaha*
Anyway, if you guys are wondering, who is this Ibu... her name is Medy Krisnany... ring a bell? Yup... my professor in Architecture... *hyaaaa, malu lagiii, garuk2 tanah...*. She was my Ibu in college years. Her room was frozen cold *litterally, mates... occasionally, I spotted ice cubes fell down from her AC,,, gosh...*, but it was comfortable in atmosphere.
Now, that was my Ibu... There are two Ibu's for me,,, Ibu Agnes Pujiyati will be the second... Whe is just an ordinary woman from dusun engh... I forgot the name of the dusun... *anak macam apa gw... durhakaaaa...*. She was my Ibu during my KKN time for 2 months. She was the witness of Arya's gombalisme... *Arya, kalo lu baca blog gw... suatu waktu, boleh deh kita ngitung bintang, heuheuheu... ih, Arya gombaaaaaaal... ahyahahahaha*.. Ugh, I missed my Ibus... Ibuuuuuuuuu... both of them are in Yogya... Someday, Ibu... I will make you proud when I stand before your eyes.
And, there always be Mamak... *gw kangen elu, Mamaaaaaakkkk*... She was a 'senior' architect in Gfab. She always criticized my ability of drafting in CAD, once when I was a CAD monkey... But of course, she did it because she cared for me...
Moving on to Mami... the first Mami would be Mami Merry *along with Papi,,, I also forgot his name...* Mami Merry was the owner of a house across to my parents house in Ambon. She also owned a dog named Chiko... *Yang udah pernah dikejar Chiko, ngacuuuuuung... yakin de, tu Anjing galak banget...* She was the one concerned about my math grades *ya eyalaaaah, guru matematika, gituh?*. I first saw the 'perjamuan terakhir' painting in her house too... She taught me how to play ping pong and play 'ibu kita kartini' on keyboard... I hope she is doing alright,,, haven't heard from her since the riot...
The second Mami is Mami Lee... An architect from Gfab. She was the one that allowed me to touch her head... I did it because I cared. I know, some people might think it's rather impolite to touch someone older's head, but I don't know... I just did that... And I did that for ones that I care... =D *hayooo, sapa yang pernah gw *pukpuk* kepalanyaaaaa?*
Ah, I missed all my Ibu, Mamak, Mami, Mum,,,
All of them... Allllll offff theeeeeemmmm...
---
TiQi Bo
Being selfish, hyahahaha... Anyway, I only have one father... anybody volunteered for the place? No? no one wants to compete with my Pap? very well...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Bajaj distance walk
kotak-kotak merangkak rapat di muka lambang tiga kali setengah lingkaran
Gadis bulat menyusup, memipihkan diri
Gadis bulat menoleh ke kanan dan ke kiri, seluruhnya tertutupi kotak-kotak
Gadis Bulat berjalan terseok di muka teras petinggi negeri
Teras yang dipalang demi kenyamanan pemilik bukan publik
Teras yang dimiliki pribadi bukan abdi
Teras yang angkuh bukan merengkuh
'Punten bapak bersafari, saya numpang lewat', ujar gadis bulat sambil menenteng sepatu coklat dekil.
Gadis bulat berjalan terseok di muka pagar lambang penjaga keamanan negeri
Pagar yang membentengi mereka bukan kita
Pagar yang membatasi bukan mengatasi
Pagar yang mengakali bukan peduli
'Ndherek langkung bapak berseragam, saya numpang lewat', ujar gadis bulat sambil berjinjit perlahan.
Gadis bulat berjalan terseok di muka petir
Petir yang lebih banyak pet bukan byar
Petir yang kikir bukan mikir
Petir yang selalu naik bukan baik
'Maaf bapak petir, saya numpang lewat', ujar gadis bulat sembil menundukkan kepala, malu.
Gadis bulat tiba di muka 'pride of Indonesia'
Tapi dia lebih tertarik pada kumpulan kotak...
Kotak manakah yang kamu pilih, gadis bulat?
Gadis bulat mengejar kotak sarden kebak wong
Menggantungkan nyawa pada bapak yang sedang menyupir sambil meracuni penumpang dan menghafalkan nama-nama penghuni hutan
Berpegangan erat pada sebatang besi hollow, sehollow pandangan seluruh bangunan yang dilewati
Gadis bulat menoleh
Semua penghuni kotak sarden ini sama,
pasrah pada supir yang pethakilan
berharap dapat sampai di rumah dan bertemu semua yang melepas lelah.
Selamat datang di Jakarta, gadis Bulat.
Inilah yang namanya penggal jalan Pattimura - Terminal Blok M.
---
TiQi Bo
Gadis bulat menyusup, memipihkan diri
Gadis bulat menoleh ke kanan dan ke kiri, seluruhnya tertutupi kotak-kotak
Gadis Bulat berjalan terseok di muka teras petinggi negeri
Teras yang dipalang demi kenyamanan pemilik bukan publik
Teras yang dimiliki pribadi bukan abdi
Teras yang angkuh bukan merengkuh
'Punten bapak bersafari, saya numpang lewat', ujar gadis bulat sambil menenteng sepatu coklat dekil.
Gadis bulat berjalan terseok di muka pagar lambang penjaga keamanan negeri
Pagar yang membentengi mereka bukan kita
Pagar yang membatasi bukan mengatasi
Pagar yang mengakali bukan peduli
'Ndherek langkung bapak berseragam, saya numpang lewat', ujar gadis bulat sambil berjinjit perlahan.
Gadis bulat berjalan terseok di muka petir
Petir yang lebih banyak pet bukan byar
Petir yang kikir bukan mikir
Petir yang selalu naik bukan baik
'Maaf bapak petir, saya numpang lewat', ujar gadis bulat sembil menundukkan kepala, malu.
Gadis bulat tiba di muka 'pride of Indonesia'
Tapi dia lebih tertarik pada kumpulan kotak...
Kotak manakah yang kamu pilih, gadis bulat?
Gadis bulat mengejar kotak sarden kebak wong
Menggantungkan nyawa pada bapak yang sedang menyupir sambil meracuni penumpang dan menghafalkan nama-nama penghuni hutan
Berpegangan erat pada sebatang besi hollow, sehollow pandangan seluruh bangunan yang dilewati
Gadis bulat menoleh
Semua penghuni kotak sarden ini sama,
pasrah pada supir yang pethakilan
berharap dapat sampai di rumah dan bertemu semua yang melepas lelah.
Selamat datang di Jakarta, gadis Bulat.
Inilah yang namanya penggal jalan Pattimura - Terminal Blok M.
---
TiQi Bo
Hari ini saja, untuk selamanya
Hari ini saya mengatakan kepada teman saya, saya kangen
Rasa kangen yang membuncah sampai dada saya ini sesak
Bukan karena saya memakai korset karena perut ini buncit lemak
Hari ini, saya mengatakan pada diri saya sendiri, saya kangen
Rasa kangen yang menyusup dalam setiap sel darah yang terpompa di dalam tubuh
Bukan karena saya meminum terlalu banyak kafein hari ini sehingga jantung terpacu kencang
Hari ini, saya ingin mengatakan kepada seluruh dunia, saya kangen
Rasa kangen yang membuat jakarta blur di mata saya
Bukan karena asap yang membuat mata saya yang berlingkaran hitam ini perih
Hari ini, dan untuk selanjutnya, saya akan selalu kangen
Kangen kamu
Lemburan arsitektur yang tidak masuk akal untuk sebagian orang
Ah, kembali sentimentil agogo
Tolong ingatkan saya, untuk tidak membuka blog mereka lagi
Blog yang berisi kata-kata lembur dan foto-foto kertas berserakan
---
TiQi Bo
altough I kept on denying that I do not need architecture, for 5 years of my life, I am addicted and married to architecture. Now, architecture is my ex spouse and my mistress...
Don't tell anyone, but I was one madly in love with you, architecture... Well, I still love you now anyway...
Rasa kangen yang membuncah sampai dada saya ini sesak
Bukan karena saya memakai korset karena perut ini buncit lemak
Hari ini, saya mengatakan pada diri saya sendiri, saya kangen
Rasa kangen yang menyusup dalam setiap sel darah yang terpompa di dalam tubuh
Bukan karena saya meminum terlalu banyak kafein hari ini sehingga jantung terpacu kencang
Hari ini, saya ingin mengatakan kepada seluruh dunia, saya kangen
Rasa kangen yang membuat jakarta blur di mata saya
Bukan karena asap yang membuat mata saya yang berlingkaran hitam ini perih
Hari ini, dan untuk selanjutnya, saya akan selalu kangen
Kangen kamu
Lemburan arsitektur yang tidak masuk akal untuk sebagian orang
Ah, kembali sentimentil agogo
Tolong ingatkan saya, untuk tidak membuka blog mereka lagi
Blog yang berisi kata-kata lembur dan foto-foto kertas berserakan
---
TiQi Bo
altough I kept on denying that I do not need architecture, for 5 years of my life, I am addicted and married to architecture. Now, architecture is my ex spouse and my mistress...
Don't tell anyone, but I was one madly in love with you, architecture... Well, I still love you now anyway...
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