Normalcy

Stay low, blend in.

Be anonymous.

Take the corner seats, avoid eye contacts.

Vanish as soon as it ends.

I'm into normalcy. I tried to be some mediocre and be another decoration for the room. I succeeded for three years now, why wouldn't I continue doing so? It's fun, it's fun. Watching the world evolves without getting involved.

But no, can't do. Because of some stupid tests not even me know why I answered correctly. Then all eyes were on me. No fun, no fun. I chose the back seat and wished I faded. Automatically, I lost this privilege of being unknown. Normal.

I wished I could lie, I wish I could pretend it didn't happen. I just wanted to sit back and enjoy the circus show, without being an actual performer. No, sir, not me. I hated the spotlight, I hated the crowd. I hated being shown as some rare endangered species.

Wish not granted. I am now stuck with this crowd for another short yet never ending period of my life. All eyes on me as I make a move. They all assume I had some sort of strategy in mind to win it all. Watch me carefully, as my action is, and always will be, as impulsive as my thoughts.

And all I wanted to be was normalcy.

Forms of Energy

I want to make an announcement. Not a big deal, but I think I need to explain how I am doing at the moment. Yes, if you heard the rumor, I am a wife now. And yes, my spouse came from a human being species *mind you, I am still wearing my human mask everywhere I go*.
Why am I married? Hmm, have no idea *dihabeg hamtaro*. I think it's time and I thought that the person I am married to now was something I could be bound to. Some of my friends chose gadgets, pets, games, work, themselves... I chose this particular person. Let's just hope we stay together long enough, till death do we apart.
No, I am not beginning a new life. I have only one life, and I embrace it. I live my life. This person I am married to hopefully could be the one I share this life to. So no, I don't buy the concept of 'Selamat menempuh hidup baru'. I am upgrading my life, not starting over.
Anyway, thank you every each one who were there when I freaked out. I will tell you guys about the details later *when my memory's not overload or lost in space*.
Second thing... I am going back to school! Yay! It's not my dream major nor school, but I got a scholarship to the place, most likely I would have to start to like the major. Um... I'm taking planning as my major, fyi. Nothing fancy. not fancy at all. God save me. :|
I'll go back to gadjah mada, where I obtained my architecture degree. *taking a deep breath*. Wish me a lot of luck :)
I almost broke down on these scholarship hunting. I tried them all, and got rejected. I was upset to my own self for not getting the scholarships. What went wrong? What haven't I do? Why wasn't I got chose? These questions haunted me for almost a year now. And this scholarship, eventhough it's not a fancy scholarship, made me smile a bit. :D *no, it's a big grin...*
I'll be back soon! :)

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TiQi Bo

A view from the other side

Here I am. Sitting in a lounge. Bailing out a meeting. Not cool, I know, but this head won't sit still in that meeting.

Anyway, I've been to 3 weddings, Yu's, Munyun's, and Eiy's. I wish them a happy journey till death do they apart with their own spouses. So thrilled to see how my friends evolved and grew.

I once thought being busy would keep my mind occupied for some time, but lately I still can't resist the boredom of being anywhere, any place. Maybe because it's almost the end of the year, and job's overwhelming. I don't know. I read the in-flight travel magazines, and nothing seems to attract me.

This is completely weird. Personally, I don't like this feeling. I don't know what I want.

I tried to surf and find myself new gadgets, but either I don't like the gadget or it's too expensive I couldn't afford it. *well, it's more to the latter reason. ahem*

I'm just tired, I guess. I missed sitting here, like I am now. Occupying one corner seat, sipping my afternoon coffee, and just forget for a moment that in the other room, the meeting I suppose to attend is happening. I'm tired pretending like I care if my job's a crap. I just wanted to sit for a while, take my time, do something i really like. Which is, for the moment, I have no idea what is it.

Here's something I know at this very moment. I am a happier person without those mask of acts. Who cares? I do. For my sanity, at least.

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TiQi Bo