People told me that it's just a phase, once I got through it, I'd be able to look back and even joke about it. Well, I'm still in the process, so let me vent this out... Hell, no! This moment is the hardest time of my life.. so far.
I'm not a multi tasker, even though I'm born with all the right genitals and stuffs to do such. The fact that I have to eliminate anything else in order to think straight about one matter just made the whole hypothesis on how a girl could multitask evaporates accordingly. Plus, I have the ego the size of the universe. Perfect combo.
I must admit, I'm one huge mess to deal with. I don't even want to deal with myself. I think after I got out from this place, I might schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist or the such. Just to untangle this complex pile. I definitely must do that. Gain my scattered sanity, somewhere.
Hey, I'm not saying what everybody else is going through is not tough, and I expect everybody else think the same way. Apparently, not. People are judgmental, you just couldn't avoid it. Trust me, I've tried hard enough to not engage on any sort of emotional heart-to-heart convos. People are mean. Most of them just wanted to see how other suffers more than they do. Yeah, I have flaws, I selfishly left my baby to run for my own success. I smiled and laughed and enjoyed being independent in this new place, leaving everybody else behind. I left my responsibilities at home, at work, in the freakin' society. Thank you very much. I notice all that, dear people. I don't need that harsh comments, I could do that to myself.
I won't defend myself, because those are facts. I just hope there's a fast forward button somewhere in this process, or even mute button. I just want to get through all of this and see these stuff as a mere fraction of a life phase I'm going through. Someday. Someday, hopefully I could laugh and joke about all of this. Maybe after I got that amnesia struck. :|
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