Okay, i admit; i am just being one lazy ass to write in this blog. Not much going on in my life to be told as well, well at least not the ones i wanted to share with the whole universe.
Office is doing just fine. New boss(es) around, so there's some minor change applied in the daily routines. I stopped taking morning shower because of it.. Errr, okay okay, that's not the reason i didn't bathe in the morning.. It's because i am concerned of the water crisis occuring.. *fail excuse* Anywaaaay.. Office is just office. A place where at times i have to pay attention in people talking about bathimetri or land use or hidrogeography or any new terms that i don't have the slightest clue that they existed in this entire universe! (okay, overrated).
Have I state in this blog? Andun, a cousin of mine finally got married. A fine wedding, which hopefully would last until death do they be apart :). She's a member of the three stooges (as I quote kak Kiki) which only had three members: andun, dhanar, me. She was the oldest *ahem* amongst the three of us, so I just let her go with a short notice. I mean, man... It only took her like less than half a year to finally decide to marry this guy. I was kinda surprised (as in "so glad to hear that!" not in a way of "did you get knock up?!" sort of way). So here I am, being the two stooges alongside dhanar. Aaaaaand the story hasn't end yet my friends... A month after andun's wedding, dhanar announced that he's proposing his girlfriend (bumi, telanlah aku moment for me). Well, to be true, i was happy yet nervous. Me, being the only stooge left. Personaly? I do not mind. But if you knew my mum really well, it's getting on her nerves.
Ah, why can't there be peace among the both of us? My mum and me, I mean. I will not blame her for every decision I make, but she has this great influence on the decisions I make. This is one thing I would like to avoid when I became a mum someday. Don't get me wrong, I live my mum and I respect her much, but sometimes I wanted her just to sit down and seal her lips. To hell are with what everybody say. So what if other people got married? So what if I spent my money on gadgets instead of make-ups? So what?
I'm fed up. I got caught in my emotions. My highschool emotion, to be precise. Too much pressure from someone would just make me want to runaway even further.
Why didn't I just take the easy way, got married, moved in to Solo, have kids, and turn into someone that my mum want? I know the answer, that's not who I am. I wish my mum would know how much I've tried to be someone that she wanted me to be, although I'm fooling myself. I wish I could be someone my mum is proud of, without altering myself into someone else.
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TiQi Bo
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