life.period.

I flew back to my parents hometown this weekend. The weekend that me and mas Dhanar has planned for so long to make it a date with mbak Anggun. After planning for so long, it was decided, that I'll have a date with mas Dhanar on Saturday and mbak Anggun would join us on Sunday.
There are a lot of things way beyond human measurements. And last week, I don't even know how God works. Because me, Icong, and Andun finally had our date. The date wasn't what we even expect in our wildest dreams, but it did happen.
I was gathering my scattered souls in saturday morning, when mbak Anggun gave me a call. The call was only 'Dek, nyokap gue jatoh...' and she was crying when she called me. I said that I'll be there ASAP. I had my silent moment and called mas Dhanar. Off we went to mbak Anggun's place.
As we stroll in, mbak Anggun's mum was already gone.
I don't like death. Not for the fact that it is certain for every one, I just don't like the fact that no one could tell how was it like. One thing I know, human being could cheat for almost everything, but they could never cheat death.

Budhe Wiek, saya memanggilnya.
Anak ketiga dari kakek dan nenek saya.
Saudara ibu saya yang paling santai sedunia.
Budhe saya yang mengajak saya ke Ragunan, pertama kalinya dalam hidup saya.

Kata Ibu saya, si Budhe banyak akal.
Tak mau dia meminum obat2annya, yang kemudian diminumkan kepada Ibu saya
Diberi hanya punggung oleh nenek saya, karena selalu ada yang lebih kecil yang meminta pelukan

Budhe saya, yang tak pernah alpa membawa burung belibis ketika berkunjung ke Solo
Yang pada lebaran tahun ini berlari mengejar foto keluarga besar
'Saya harus ikut berfoto', katanya

Saya pikir, si Budhe akan selamanya ada.
Akan selalu menggerutu ketika anaknya saya culik untuk balik tengah malam
Akan selalu meminta dielus2 kakinya
Akan selalu menawari saya untuk sarapan ketika saya berkunjung
Akan selalu berusaha melarang saya memakan mie instan
Akan selalu protes ketika saya membawa minuman berwarna

Saya angkuh.
Karena tepat hari ini, 17 April 2010, dicukupkanlah waktunya di dunia.
Berhentilah semua kegiatannya di sekitar saya.
Kembali pada rengkuhan bumi.

Saya tak sempat mengucap maaf. Atas semua ucap dan pikir saya.
Saya tak sempat berpamitan.

Budhe, you really do look beutiful and peaceful yesterday.
I'll let you go for heaven's door is waiting.

---
Tikki Mahayanti
RIP: Sartanti (1952 - 17 April 2010)

Sometimes you feel the fight is over

I got an sms from Bie few days ago. Quite shocking sms for me. A friend of mine passed away. What's even ironic was that I just read an e-mail about her being sick and going to have a surgery to ease the pain. God always knows what is the best for each and every one of us, so I guess this is just something to show it.
Her name was Gita Trakanitha, student number 28121 Department of Architecture, Gadjah Mada University. I memorized it clearly because she was a number before me in the absent. She was a really helpful mate, one that always have a smile in the face. I always thought she was one amazing woman, being able to smile while I went grumbling all day.
I forgot when was the last time I saw her, probably in my last year of college. Argh, I really had a bad memory... I am truly sorry about this, mate. But believe me, Gita, your spot will never be taken.
Have a wonderful journey, Gita. I will miss you, mate.

23 seems to be a blink of eye
Seems like just yesterday we celebrate our first year in that college
Felt like it was just last month we still chat about our lectureer and their subjects

23 seems too young to go
Looks like you still have your dream stayed unfulfilled
Felt like there's so many things you still wanted to achieve

23 seems fly by so fast
By the moment I realized
23 years has passed you by, giving me only a year to catch up

Then 23 just stopped
yet I still can't run into it.


23 is yours, and hopefully mine to pass it with my life.


---
Tikki Mahayanti
it's true, mate... you don't know something meant to you, until the thing pass you by... today, I shed my tear for you, mate.